Self reflecting and learning about myself though ranting about random thoughts from a music video that popped up on YouTube! And how at first I was being down on myself for missed opportunities but then ended up content and really motivated to get back on my life path!!
It’s a normal Trish rant and super duper long BUT you’ll learn quite a bit about me and my love and passion for music and videos and how I’ve changed from being a shy because “I don’t want to sound like a fan girl” to a not shy I want to be in the music world interviewing and making awesome music videos SO lets make it happen!
Who would have known I’d find all this motivation and reminder the same week I was being so down! Ha kinda goes with what I talked about in my video I recorded yesterday and posted today about how wacky the moon and retrograde had us. And like boom, boom, boom. Depressed, clear, motivated!!! Anyways let me know what you think!! Besides that I am crazy because I know!
So I feel like I miss opportunities or connections or discussions quite often or more so that I make them but they are not the full experience I could have. And sadly most of them are once in a lifetime (or idk how this can happen again situations). Although I had a random recent experience that makes it seem like maybe it could. But anyways I'm specially talking about music and bands. I mean you all know by now music is what fuels me in almost everything I do.
But what you may not know about me is I don't really know all that much about most of the bands I listen to. I mean in high school I knew about the bands I loved and knew all their names and as much about them as I could from just magazines and online. But really that was only like Blink 182, Good Charlotte, and Hawthorne Heights.
You don't have to know all about a person or a band for them to be your favorite you can just listen and listen and listen. For me after I meet a band or see a band thats really when I become more interested. I mean its more like on a oh, I know you, we've talked or had a drink or maybe I've interviewed you so now I want to know whats up. OR MAYBE it's because social media allows for that? But truthful I didn't follow any of the individual people in these bands until after I meet them. BUT really now that I'm writing that, it's probably better that way.
I'm sitting here kind of sad because I didn't have a full conversation with a few musicians and get to tell them how awesome or talented or helpful, I thought they were and I want to. But really I didn't think that or know that before because I had no idea I felt that way.
I mean there are different aspects to that because now I'm remembering how scared I was to talk to anyone in Hawthorne Heights because I loved them so much. (I also used to be way more shy) But one time they played in Edinboro at a really long show and sat alone a their table for like 4 hours and I didn't go up and say a word because I didn't just want to be like OMG I LOVE YOUR MUSIC!! So I didn't say anything, I saw them a few more times and just took pictures but still didn't say anything because I am obsessed with not seeming like a CRAZY FANGIRL! Ha which I mean there isn't anything wrong but I knew I wanted to work in the music industry and didn't want to just seem like a nut. Which I defiantly looked like one to JT for a long time! But I finally talked to them I don't even know after how many times I had seen them. But it was funny because I was just standing alone in the back of Altar Bar and 3 of them walked by and said hi to me and said they liked my hair and that was really sweet and cool of them. So then I started a conversation and only told one of them (who was new at the time) about my tattoos. Because again I don't want to be the crazy girl!
anyways wow, so much backstory I could tell to get to the thought I was having! I'll have to write more on this subject though because I like where its going and its the history of me LiLBaT!
Anyways so I clicked on it and was watching and it's adorable! The whole song and the set up and thinking wow this must be for a movie this looks like a movie. Then I watched the behind the scenes and it is!!! So I'll have to watch that at some point, it seemed like a really adorable story (not like a typical movie I would watch) but it has a song in it from an artist I like so why not!!
I need to pay more attention to these things so I can blog or vlog about it! What a perfect timing though because it motivated me now I'm telling a full on story! When two days ago I was so sad and disappointed in myself for not being creative or sharing recently!
But watching it, I'm thinking I wish I could talk to him again and just actually have a conversation about his music and music videos. Because really all his music videos are awesome and hes probably one of the most talented writers and singers out there.
But when we meet I had only listened to his music, barley even knew what he looked like and just danced and drunkenly sang along with Barbara and had an awesome time. (ask me about the first time she made me listen to them though because my opinion was very different until she played it 100x). Anyways my point is....
Well I don't know if I have a point, but my thought was I wish I would just have a more organized mind sometimes and get real contact info from people so later I could do interviews or catch up and tell them what I think. I mean its not necessarily about Josh, it happens all the time and these thoughts have happened many times just not while sitting at a compute with time to rant. But my brain is so scattered always! I mean artist meet a million people and remembering one is really hard, ha I even have a hard time remembering people but its nice to make friends or more so acquaintances with these artist and bands and catching up or having a real drink and a chat when they are in town or if you happen to be in their town. Which did happen last week with another band, I didn't even listen to that band before I had meet them, they were on tour but a friend of a friend so hung out and are friends on social media so when I saw them again it was cool to chat about life and also have an opinion on their music or videos or whatever!!
So in one way I regret not fully learning about bands or artist just because I like their work. But also I like that its more of a natural first encounter being like hi and talking to them like they are normal and not famous or whatever the correct term is!
Also reminds me of me being a fan girl of Aiden and seeing William Control (around the same time I first talked to HH) and was taking a picture with him and told him he was the 'celebrity' I had seen the most because I'm award and thats just what I said. And I had seen Aiden and him a lot of times but he just thought I was crazy and was super nice and was just like I'm not a celebrity. BUT I still feel awkward now! Later I meet him and wasn't creepy (well I probably was but) less so and had normal convo about his music then at the time a job I was interviewing for AP and how I was going to the AP awards.
WOW also writing this and reflecting has made me realize how much I've changed from fresh out of high school just wanting to go to shows and maybe work for a magazine but couldn't talk to bands because I didn't want to seem like a fan girl to what I am now.
Although I'm also far behind on where I want to be in the music world I at least now have conversations and meet people and make connections that make me want to learn more to reconnect. And now that I'm writing this all out and I plan on making videos and being really proactive in filming and following up that I will always get contact info when I can. Still making connections in the same way and not really doing research or learning too much about someone before meeting them (unless it's a planned interview). But more on the spot get to know you on or off camera then maybe make a video the next time but mostly its nice to just know people out in the world and see what they are creating!!
I think that's it! I exhaust myself and my mind goes a million directions so I always feel confused at the end of writing! BUT hate going back and revising things like this because it ends up twice as long!! So I hope it made sense and you got to learn a bit about me!! Because I learned a bit about myself and reflected so yeah!!! oh also here is the music video that brought all this one, I'll put the behind the scenes too so you can maybe understand why I would want to reconnect because this is a real person, who've I've meet and talked to and the behind the scenes even if I hadn't meet him makes him seem fun and like someone I would like to talk to again! Check out his sick guitar too!
we can also revisit the title of the last blog of how many thoughts can go through someones head in a certain amount of time. this time in a positive way! I've spent the last two hours on this and seems like way more for how much my mind has become clear and back to motivated and just yeah!! Its crazy!! (I'm also at work why it did take me that long, to write it it actually only took like 30 mins then I had to correct spelling and format!)