I've been listing to them on repeat for like 5 months now! I don't know why I never listened before but what made me check them out is that the vocalist was the singing voice to Johnny of American Satan. To match the beautiful face of Andy Black ha! Need to watch the movie again too, I still have only seen it opening day at theatres which was a horrible day for me and the movie just added to my anxiety attack that day. But that has nothing to do with this.
I just love finding new bands, and listing non stop!! I know I wrote the blog once that I don't know much about the bands I listen too, and don't watch music videos enough but today after listening for months I decided to try to watch their videos and they have all kinds of stuff on their youtube I'll have to get into! Watching things makes me get creative ideas and like thats what I need! Music has always drove me to be who I am and what I do. Thats why I work in news and at a music venue and this new year I need to combine them all and pull back together and make things! Hello Hello, to the ghost that read my blog! PS I know no one does, thats probably why I suck at writing! Anyways just want to say Happy New Year and reflect a bit!
2018 was really great, I think I can def say it was my least depressed year since being a kid. I mean I will always be emo and cry at like everything but this year there was a lot less of that all. And its stupid to say its because of a boy but I mean it really has a lot to do with my boyfriend. The last few years were weird for us and we went though so much and half the time I was upset or sad because of our situations, but like we are officially together and have never been in a better place as a couple. I mean things are always a work in progress and I had some break downs and bad days over us but since may when we started dating so much is out of my paranoid and worried mind. SO THATS AWESOME!! My family is great and I appreciate them so much, I guess its something you learn and grow as you get older but I wish so much I could go back in time and enjoy family time and show how much I love them and how much I know they do for me and just be a grateful kid because I was bratty a lot. Well not bratty but I didn't know how to control my emotions because of everything and just was easily annoyed and couldn't see past the moment I was in I guess. Apparently over the last year I just gained a lot of clarity. Anyways I dont really have a plan or a thought process on this blog because I came here to write one about a new band I started to love this year, and am watching their music videos now! I need to get better at watching music videos and being creative. THIS YEAR 2019 I NEED TO MAKE A MUSIC VIDEO! It is the year to do it!! I can't do it all on my own like I want a crew and such. I would really like a video creation group like how I used to have for work. Its so overwhelming to think of ideas, shoot them, be in them, and edit them. I say this all the time but like I like directing, maybe showing up a little, and then editing! I never wanted to do it all and just need a creative group that meets like once a week and makes a video at least a month or something. So that is def a goal too. I will be getting a camera, I'm even thinking of going with a $400 one to just get going and then getting the one I want later. I know I say this all the time and write it here but no one reads or helps hold me accountable to follow though. Like I want to and I'm motivated but I wont get up and do something unless I have a set plan and whatever. I want to commit and do its just hard on my own and I have a million excuses like living in a basement that I don't have recording space, or a living room to chill in or like I don't wake up because like my sleep is horrible and i keep trying to get on a better schedule but my brain and medicine don't like me to. But its all something I'm aware of and want to fix. There is so much and so many steps and I have support of family, friends, and my boyfriend but like I need a partner to do all this with and yeah my boyfriend in most of it but I need a creative counterpart! blah blah blah blah blah this blog really sucks. I think I need to take my time when I'm not at work to go though all this and make a video for you all! BUT 2019 is the year for changes. Last year was great but not much got done, I didnt do too many new things, I didnt see too many of my friends. It was good but I need to take the mental wellness of this year and being happy with family and my boyfriend and combine that with years before when I made videos all the time (i mean i got paid to and it was my job so that made it easier) so maybe find another job like that or turn it into a side one or a social thing. I want to create create create abut also find new things, drink less because bars are boring and drunking isnt really fun any more, go back to finding new things and events and being the social lil bat I am. anyways im stopping now because this is just a mess of thoughts. ha 2018 good, 2019 lets do even better! A not so sucky newish teenage Halloween movie about a not vampire… Now I am not saying this is super awesome go watch it, I’m saying if your bored and want something to just pass a bit of time and just be in the background. Well thas why I started it. I’m at work and need to keep an eye on my work so didn’t want to get sucked into anything too serious and also didn’t want to take 30 minutes to find something else to watch so..
How music makes you feel, think, connect, and a million other things!!!
Self reflecting and learning about myself though ranting about random thoughts from a music video that popped up on YouTube! And how at first I was being down on myself for missed opportunities but then ended up content and really motivated to get back on my life path!! It’s a normal Trish rant and super duper long BUT you’ll learn quite a bit about me and my love and passion for music and videos and how I’ve changed from being a shy because “I don’t want to sound like a fan girl” to a not shy I want to be in the music world interviewing and making awesome music videos SO lets make it happen! Who would have known I’d find all this motivation and reminder the same week I was being so down! Ha kinda goes with what I talked about in my video I recorded yesterday and posted today about how wacky the moon and retrograde had us. And like boom, boom, boom. Depressed, clear, motivated!!! Anyways let me know what you think!! Besides that I am crazy because I know! How many thoughts do you have within 10 minutes? My brain surprised me, well more so attacked me last night and let me tell you, the amount of thoughts rushing and floating in my head was unreal. Then think about in a hour, new thoughts, old thoughts, bad thoughts, not really any good ones, then them repeating over and over and over to the point you have to just scream out loud or talk out loud to yourself to slow them down....I'm assuming it was an anxiety/panic attack. Started out as a little anxiety, then exploded into a panic and then couldn't chill out.
1. SLEEP! SLEEP! SLEEP! Just stay in bed! You'll spend way less money if you never leave the house! And if your sleeping you won't be tempted to do anything you'll just be living in dream land! Happy as can be! 3. NO FRIENDS!
Don't hang out with me! If your still tempted to wake up or eat let me recommend that you don't hang out with me. Like Ever! I can't really seem to just sit around and do nothing when I'm with friends. I want to go out and do things and experience the world! Especially because its summer and this past winter was so long and killed me! I HATE fast food, so if we are skipping tip number 2, and you let me pick or suggest where to eat it will probably not be super cheap. Hello Hello!! click to read about my personal life, work, 412nes & LiLBat stuff, and some other things!!
... WOW! I need to get better at blogging! I started doing videos again and forget to post here. EVEN THOUGH I'm sure I'm the only one that knows the blog is here. BUT it's good to keep up with!
I need to start taking notes or recording myself reacting to things I'm watching. Like my commentary is good, I want to remember it!! Also started notes on the books I read and never wrote now I feel like I'd have to reread.. ... SO anyways. I just watched Evil Genius: The True Story of America's Most Diabolical Bank Heist.. AND LET ME TELL YOU IT IS CRAZY!! |
LILBAT
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November 2019
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